I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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