You don't have asthma, your pregnant
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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