i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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