How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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