You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
