my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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