Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
How external is "for external use only"?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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