Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
