I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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