3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
