I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
