OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
