There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
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you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
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I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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