Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
