sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
