new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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