haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
