i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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