There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
