Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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