I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
