We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
