I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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