Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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