He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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