How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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