First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
