I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
