This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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