The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My vagina is officially offended.
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