i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
