The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
