Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
