Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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