I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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