dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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