would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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