All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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