dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
