you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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