i permit you to call me
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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