Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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