So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
