It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
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I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize