Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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