well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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