sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
