i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Randomize
