Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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