somebody snuck up and got me drunk
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
