I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
