I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Less talking, more tequila
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
