so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
