party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Alive.
So much puke
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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