what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
