I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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