am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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