What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
