for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
