I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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