If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
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I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
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Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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