We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
